i feel like i’m at a crossroads but it’s just two dirt roads in the middle of nowhere with no road signs, and i don’t have a compass so i don’t even know which direction is which, and i also am not very versed in astronomy so i can’t figure it out based on the north star or any of that stuff.

so either way, i have no idea where i’m going! or what to base any sort of decision off of.  so i guess i’m just winging it.  maybe i’ll just say “fuck roads.” and go wandering off through the fields instead.

My bffF and I have been doing a project for a class we have together on Edna St. Vincent Millay.  She’s a poet from the 1920s and 30s, primarily.  Her poetry is very powerful and I just thought I’d share one of her sonnets.

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i seriously can’t stand it.  so many people that i know didn’t even bother to vote in the last presidential election.  really? if you’re going to sit around and complain about everything that’s wrong with this country then maybe you should consider getting off your ass and doing something to change it.  voting is probably the most basic and simple thing you can do to make a difference.  one day every 2 years, or even every 4 if you’re lazy.  is that really so hard people?

and i really don’t buy the excuse: “neither of the candidates was suitable for me.”  i’m sorry, but “neither” is not a choice.  it’s one or the other, unless you’re optimistic enough to believe that a 3rd party candidate is going to get enough of a following to be elected anytime soon.  the point is, you’re going to be stuck with one of them, so why don’t you decide which one you’d rather be stuck with, because just because you don’t “like” either one of them, you don’t get to have neither one of them in office.  someone WILL get elected whether or not you vote, and wouldn’t you rather have a say in that? if not, i don’t even know what to say to you because clearly your sense of logic and reason doesn’t exist.

like i said, voting is only the first and most basic step you can take to make a difference.  people my age are always talking about how awesome it would be to have lived in the 60s and 70s during all the political and cultural chaos, so they could have been a part of it.

well, if you think that’s so “awesome” why don’t you create some political and cultural chaos of you’re freaking own??  there are a million different causes you could stand behind, and i don’t even care if you stand behind a cause that i personally support, stand for SOMETHING instead of letting anything happen.  stand behind gay marriage, or stand against it, i might call you close minded if you do but i’ll respect you more for standing up for what you choose to believe in.

the most frequent legal matter people in my generation seem to complain about is the fact that marijuana is illegal.  okay, why don’t you stop complaining to your friends from the comfort of your lazy boy while you rip the bong and get people together about it.  organize some kind of rally.  go for it.  make signs, yell, do whatever but instead of doing nothing about it, maybe if you try doing SOMETHING, then SOMETHING will actually get done.  take some inspiration from the decades you aspire to visit in your hypothetical time machine.  

jeez.

i wonder if after you die your soul remembers your life.  does what happened to you on earth still matter?  do the people you loved still love you and do you still love them? do you even remember them?

i’ve thought about starting a blog a lot of times before, i guess i just never got around to it.  i’ve always thought blogs are supposed to have a theme—but my life experiences don’t easily categorize themselves into a theme, or even two to three themes.  they’re all over the place, so my blog is probably going to be all over the place too.  story of my life! literally and figuratively.  

i moved into a new apartment in mid august.  it’s a three bedroom, three bathroom apartment.  each bedroom has its own bathroom you can only get to by going through the bedrooms.  my bathroom happened to be designed as handi-cap accessible.  meaning the shower is standing and has one of those seats you can fold up or leave down.  i was disappointed when i first found out about that because i love taking baths and reading.  and i have to read all the time because i’m an english major.  but i thought, “oh well, it’s not that big of a deal.”  don’t sweat the small stuff, right?

this shower has no door, just a curtain that hangs down.  in theory the water is supposed to drain naturally because the floor of the shower should be sloped.  there is no lip/edge on my shower, and the first time i used it, the whole bathroom flooded about a quarter of an inch.  something was and still is wrong with the drain.  i called the property management company that day to tell them about this and let them know that i couldn’t even USE my shower like it is.  they still haven’t fixed it ONE MONTH later.  i’ve been having to share my roommates showers with them.  or shower at my boyfriend’s house.  

the most ridiculous thing about this is i’m paying for a private bathroom when i’m paying my rent-and yet i’m not GETTING  a private bathroom.  i think my roommates are awesome and am not complaining bc i don’t want to share with them.  i just want what i paid for.